I thought Id won

acoustic poppunk emo ballad posthardcore [Intro] ... ... [Verse 1] finally organizing the baggage i was carryin' around, distant memories, old conversations, feelings from my hometown. i’ve got a steady spiral goin', and a desperation to be found, seeing where this timeline goes and exactly where it’s bound... but there's a stubborn muscle memory that i haven't figured out, a sudden phantom gravity that pulls me so far down, and i dunno if this'll be my undoing, but i can't make a sound, so, god, if you're listening, i could really use the help right now... [Pre-Chorus] it isn't the arguments or bitter ends that pull me under, it’s these lazy sunday afternoons that leave me just to wonder... [Chorus 1] i’m lookin' straight ahead, but i swear i'm aimin' for the sun, i’m proud of who i am, and the past that i've outrun, it's these haunting thoughts that're reachin' for my gun, they ain't kickin' down the door, and they ain't here for any fun, they’re reminding me of what i missed, and why i feel so done, a perfect, happy memory of a time i thought i'd won... [Verse 2] i once thought that moving on meant settin' everything on fire, walkin' away from the burnin' wreck, callin' myself a survivor... now, i realize that survival is really wakin' up still fuckin' tired, knowin' that this world kept spinnin' after the best of it had expired, i'll talk to myself, i'll smile, and play a decent liar, while privately apologizin' to the ones i loved an' admired, because, there's half of me that's present, makin' plans for another fire, while the other half is paralyzed by the situation i made dire... [Pre-Chorus] it isn't the arguments or bitter ends that pull me under, it’s these lazy sunday afternoons that leave me just to wonder... [Chorus 2] i’m lookin' straight ahead, but i swear i'm aimin' for the sun, i’m proud of who i am, and the past that i've outrun, it's these haunting thoughts that're reachin' for my gun, they ain't kickin' down the door, and they ain't here for any fun, they’re reminding me of what i missed, and why i feel so done, a perfect, happy memory of a time i thought i'd won... yeah... a perfect, happy memory of a time i thought i won.... [Outro] just gently haunting me... i'm aiming for the sun... i swear i'm moving on... but i think i'm fuckin' done...